What to Do When Your Child Back-Talks!

with is when your child starts to grow up and rebel. It starts out kind of cute, as a toddler when they first learn the word “no” and use it against you when you ask them to do something. However, when they get old enough to know better, and they start back talking, the cute factor flies right out the window. Instead of cute, it is beyond irritating, and you end up at your wits end, not knowing what you should do about it. You are not alone. The following is a guide to what to do when your child back talks:

Be firm about not accepting it. You can’t indulge their back talking, not even one time, or they will continue to do so. If your child talks back, you have to let them know that it is not ok. Don’t get angry, don’t yell, just be firm, letting them know that this behavior is totally unacceptable. This has to be your mantra until they get the hang of it. If they back talk, stop them, put them in a time out, even if they are 16 years old. Give yourself some time to calm down. 

Determine a punishment and make sure you are consistent with it. The first time they back talk, you are going to put them on a time out so that you have a chance to get your own emotions under control, and figure out what kind of punishment you want your child to have for talking back to them. You can talk to them about it, and you can agree to a punishment together. Once you have decided on one, you have to be consistent with it. If you decide that they are going to be grounded from television for a week, or that they are going to miss a play date or something, then you have to follow through. It might make life harder on you, but if you don’t follow through with the punishment set for back talk, the back talk will never end. 

Discuss with your child why this is not ok. Today’s kids are getting smarter and more sophisticated in many ways, but are kids in many other ways. If you tell them they can’t do something, they will immediately want to do it. So, instead, of just telling them that they can’t talk back, you have to help them understand that doing so is a sign of disrespect. If they disagree with you, or have a problem with what you have to say, then they can talk to you about it rationally, but back talk is not an acceptable option. The more reasonable it is, the more likely they are willing to do what you ask.